Becoming parents is always an incredibly exciting experience—a special journey filled with highs and sometimes a few lows. But what is it like to become parents during the COVID-19 pandemic, when so many aspects of daily life are anything but normal? And what happens when pregnancy and birth don’t go as expected or planned?
In this emotional interview, Patrícia Larguinho Estêvão and Pedro Filipe Silva Oliveira, parents of Lourenço Filipe Estêvão Oliveira, who was born at 26 weeks in March 2020, share what it was like to face this deeply challenging time.
Question:
Dear Patrícia and Pedro, your son was born during the pandemic. Did the thought of becoming parents during such a time affect you emotionally? If so, can you explain how?
Patrícia Larguinho Estêvão and Pedro Filipe Silva Oliveira:
In addition to feeling nervous and lost because our baby was born at 26 weeks gestation, the pandemic made everything even more complicated. It was something new and unknown. Every day we woke up with a terrifying fear that we might have been infected with the virus and would have to stay away from Lourenço, knowing he would be in the Neonatology Unit for a long time.
Our emotional state was completely shattered.
Question:
You mentioned that your son was hospitalized after birth. Did the pandemic—and the hygiene and safety regulations that came with it—affect his treatment and care? For example, were you both still allowed to be with him in the NICU? Were visiting hours limited? If so, how did these regulations impact your daily life as parents, and how did you experience that time emotionally?
Patrícia Larguinho Estêvão and Pedro Filipe Silva Oliveira:
Yes, it affected our emotional well-being a lot. The schedules and rules were changing daily, and we had to be extremely careful with hygiene every time we went to see our baby. We lived with the constant fear of bringing a virus or bacteria to his side, knowing he was such a tiny and vulnerable baby.
Lourenço was born in mid-March 2020, right after the global pandemic was declared. Everything felt new and uncertain. He was hospitalized for about 91 days, and unfortunately, we were never allowed to be together at the same time when receiving news or updates about our baby.
It wasn’t until June 1st, when the unit made a special exception for International Children’s Day, that the three of us were able to be together for the first time—for about an hour.
We were finally reunited again on June 6, 2020, when our baby was discharged home.
Question:
Based on your experience, is there any advice or message you would like to share with other parents or NICU staff?
Patrícia Larguinho Estêvão and Pedro Filipe Silva Oliveira:
Yes. A nurse once sat with us and said: “Now we are going to live hour by hour, and day by day.”
And that’s exactly how we had to do it. It was not easy at all, I confess.
It is very important that when we are with our babies, we wear a kind of invisible cape and try to be very strong, because they absorb all our energy, all our love and affection—and that is essential.
Whenever you have a question or doubt—no matter how small—always ask the team why. The staff is always there, ready to help us understand everything that’s happening or might happen.
One essential factor is to be present as much as possible. Our presence, our touch, holding them close to our chest or on our lap—these are the best treatments they can receive.
And finally—never give up. Fight for these tiny, incredible beings. It is through them that we find all the strength—and more—that we need to overcome everything.
Remember:
They are stronger than we think.
They are true warriors.
Dear Patrícia and Pedro, thank you so much for your time, and for sharing your experience and heartfelt advice.
Like many parents around the world, Patrícia Larguinho Estêvão and Pedro Filipe Silva Oliveira experienced separation from their preterm baby due to ongoing COVID-19 safety and hygiene measures.
GFCNI stands with all parents who have gone through—or are still enduring—these challenges, and continues to advocate for family-centered care and Zero Separation policies, even during a pandemic.
GFCNI is the first global organization and network to unite patients, families, healthcare professionals,
medical staff, and scientists from different disciplines, fields,
and countries – all with the joint goal of advancing the health and quality of care for newborns and their families across the globe.
GFCNI is a non-profit organization established under German public law. Tax Reference Number: 143/235/22619
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